The Turker’s Gospel

The Bible According To Mechanical Turk Workers

Matthew 5:1-10

5:1 - And after all of the people came into his view, he climbed to the top of the peak. Once he was seated, to him came his followers.

5:2 - He educated them by saying,

5:3 - Happy are those who know their true value: for God has promised them his kingdom.

5:4 - Those who mourn are blessed, since they will be comforted.

5:5 - The gentle ones are blessed: as they will inherit the earth.

5:6 - Blessed are the people who seek the good and righteous way of life. They shall be rewarded with a good and righteous life.

5:7 - The merciful are blessed, because they will be shown mercy.

5:8 - The pure of heart are blessed and shall see god.

5:9 - The children of God shall be blessed and known as the peacemakers.

5:10 - Those who suffer persecution because they are righteous are blessed, for heaven belongs to them.

Matthew 5:11-20

5:11 - All who are ridiculed for my sake will be blessed by me.

5:12 - Rejoice, and be very happy indeed, because a rich reward awaits you in Heaven; for just as you are persecuted now, so were the prophets then.

5:13 - You are the salt in the earth, but if the salt loses it’s flavor, who will want to use it? It becomes no good, except to be thrown out, and walked on like the dirt.

5:14 - You are the light of the world, and cannot be hidden from sight.

5:15 - You cannot light a candle and then hide it; you’ve got to place it so that everyone in the house can benefit from it.

5:16 - Let people see the good things you have done so that they know your show the power of Christ.

5:17 - I have come to fulfill the teachings of our Father.

5:18 - I’m telling you straight all the way to the end of time that there won’t be any funny business until everything has come true.

5:19 - Whoever will break the least of the commandments and yet teach it to men will be the least in heaven, however those who keep the commandment and teach it will be the the greatest in heaven.

5:20 - This is what say, If your righteousness does not exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:21-30

5:21 - You have heard this saying for a long time, You should not murder; and whoever commits murder should fear judgment.

5:22 - This is what I am telling you, that if somebody gets mad with his brother with valid reason will be in danger of judgment: and if somebody will tell his brother, Raca, will be facing the council: but if somebody will say, You’re fool, will be facing the fire of hell.

5:23 - So if you bring your sacrifice, remember you brother has nothing against you.

5:24 - First you must leave your gift in front of the altar while you make peace with your brother, then return and offer your gift.

5:25 - Be on one accord with your enemy, when you are speaking with him; to prevent him from taking you to a judge, and the judge from sending you to the official, and you be put in the jail.

5:26 - I’m telling you, you’re not coming out without paying.

5:27 - You know the elders said that you shouldn’t cheat on your significant other.

5:28 - And as Jesus was leaving there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting and collecting taxes; and Jesus told Matthew to follow him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

5:29 - And if you have sinned, repent, and do it no more because it is better to not repeat your sin so that you may not condemn yourself to hell.

5:30 - If my right hand offends you, cut it off and throw it away from me: it is more acceptable for one of my limbs to perish and be cast into hell instead of my whole body.

Matthew 5:31-40

5:31 - They say, Whoever no longer wants his wife should give her divorce papers.

5:32 - But I tell you, That anyone who sends his wife away for any reason other than fornication, makes her become an adulterer, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

5:33 - One must obey thy oaths at all times.

5:34 - However, I tell you, don’t make a vow; not by heaven; since it is the throne of God.

5:35 - Neither by the earth; because this is where he rests his feet: neither by Jerusalem; since this is the King’s city.

5:36 - You should also not swear by your head, because you can’t even change the color of your hair.

5:37 - But let your communication yawning; for what’s over is more than these comets of evil.

5:38 - You have heard the sating that goes An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

5:39 - I am telling you to be passive in the face of evil: that if someone does you wrong, forgive him as though nothing has happened.

5:40 - If any man wants to sue me, and take my possessions, let him have my possessions.

Matthew 5:41-48

5:41 - And whoever will force you go travel with him for a mile, travel for two miles with him.

5:42 - Give a person what he asks for and do not turn away a person seeking to borow.

5:43 - You have heard people say to love your neighbor and hate your enemy.

5:44 - And Jesus spoke unto them telling them to love those who have treated them so wrongly and pray for them to see the Way.

5:45 - It is hopeful that you are the children of your Father who is in heaven: and for him to make the sun rise on both evil and good, and the rain fall on the just and unjust.

5:46 - What reward do you get from loving those that love you? Don’t even the politicians do the same?

5:47 - But if you only greet your brothers, how are you different from anyone else? You are surely no different to a bartender?

5:48 - So, be perfect, just like your Father in heaven is perfect.