The Turker’s Gospel

The Bible According To Mechanical Turk Workers

Matthew 26:1-10

26:1 - And then, when Jesus finished what he was saying, he told his disciples,

26:2 - You know that the Passover holiday is coming in two days, and Jesus has been betrayed and is scheduled to be crucified.

26:3 - Then all the chief priests and the leaders of the people gathered at the palace of Caiaphas, the High Priest.

26:4 - So they spoke to one another about how they might spirit Jesus away and kill him.

26:5 - But they replied that it should not occur on the day of the feast, because it may cause the people to riot.

26:6 - When Jesus dwelled in Bethany, he stayed in the home of Simon the leper.

26:7 - While he was sitting at the table, a woman with expensive ointment came up to him and poured it on his head.

26:8 - The disciples did understand the purpose when they saw it. They said To what purpose is this waste?

26:9 - Because you could have sold this ointment for a great sum and distributed the proceeds to the poor.

26:10 - At the time Jesus figured out what they were thinking, he asked, Why are you upset with this lady? She has done an honorable deed unto me.

Matthew 26:11-20

26:11 - You’ll always be surrounded by poor people, but you won’t always have me around.

26:12 - By putting this ointment on my body, she has prepared it for burial.

26:13 - So I’m telling you that whenever these words are taught all around the world they will also tell you about this woman and be told as a tribute to her.

26:14 - At that point, Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus’ twelve disciples, decided to go unto the town leaders,

26:15 - Judas said to them, What will you give me if I deliver him to you? They agreed then upon thirty pieces of silver.

26:16 - And after that moment, he searched for the right time to give him up to those who sought to destroy him.

26:17 - On the first day of the feast the disciples cam to Jesus and asked him where they should have the passover feast.

26:18 - Then he said, Go to the city to this man, and tell him, The Master says that my time is at hand, and my disciples and I will have passover at your house.

26:19 - And Jesus’ followers did as he told them by preparing for passover.

26:20 - As night fell he met with the his disciples.

Matthew 26:21-30

26:21 - As they all dined, he said to them that one of them will betray him.

26:22 - They all wailed sorrowfully to the Lord, is it I?

26:23 - He answered by saying, Whoever puts his hand into the dish with me will be the one who betrays me.

26:24 - Everything written about the Messiah will come to be: but the man who betrays the Messiah will be in trouble! It would be good if this man had never existed.

26:25 - Judas, the traitor, then responded Master, is it I?. He received a simple reply: You have said

26:26 - And when they were eating, Jesus took the bread, and blessed it, and devided and gave to his disciples, and said, Take this, and eat it; this is my body.

26:27 - He took the cup, toasted, and passed it along for them to finish;

26:28 - I will die for your sins.

26:29 - I’m telling you, I’m not going to drink this wine until we’re in heaven.

26:30 - At the mount of Olives, they sung hymns.

Matthew 26:31-40

26:31 - Jesus then said to them, you will all be offended because of me tonight: as it says, I will kill the shepherd and the flock’s sheep will be dispersed.

26:32 - But after I have risen again, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.

26:33 - Peter replied and told him, even though men are offended by you, I will never be offended.

26:34 - Jesus spoke to him saying, I am honestly telling you that tonight, before dawn, you shall refuse to admit that you know me three times.

26:35 - Although Peter will die with them he will never deny them.

26:36 - When they went to Gethsemane, Jesus said to the disciples, Stay here, I’m going over there to pray.

26:37 - He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee with him and became very sad.

26:38 - I told them that my soul was in pain, even at my death; rest yourself here and watch with me.

26:39 - And he crawled a few more steps and collapsed on the ground, crying, O God, if it can happen, please let me out of this burden. Even though, not my will, but yours be done.

26:40 - And he approached the disciples and, finding them asleep, said to Peter, You couldn’t even join me on the watch for an hour?

Matthew 26:41-50

26:41 - Be aware of your surroundings and be in constant communication with God so that you will be strong enough when you are tempted: your heart desires what is right, but your body is not as strong.

26:42 - He left once again the second time, and prayed, saying, Oh my Father, If I can’t make these problems go away unless I face them, then I’ll do as you ask.

26:43 - And coming out He found they had again fallen asleep, as their eyes had gotten so heavy that they couldn’t keep them open.

26:44 - He left them again to pray for the third time, using the same words as before.

26:45 - He went to his disciples and told them, Sleep now, it’s time; the Son of man has been betrayed to the sinners.

26:46 - Dude, that’s the guy who betrayed me. Let’s get out of here.

26:47 - While he was speaking, Judas came at the head of a crowd armed with swords and sticks, sent by the chief priests and elders.

26:48 - Now the betrayer gave them a signal, saying, Whoever I kiss is he; seize him.

26:49 - He immediately cam to Jesus and said Hello, master, and kissed him.

26:50 - A friend came and laid hands on Jesus and took him.

Matthew 26:51-60

26:51 - And suddenly, one of those with Jesus, reached out and took his sword, and struck one of the high priest’s servant, and cut off his ear.

26:52 - Then Jesus said to him: Put your sword away, because those that people who live by the sword shall die by the sword.

26:53 - Do you think I can’t ask my father for twelve legions of angels, and that he will comply?

26:54 - How can this happen so that the scriptures come true?

26:55 - Within the hour, Jesus told the people, Are those of you that are here dressed as thieves with swords and stakes here to take me away? I said with you daily, teaching you in the temple, and none of you tried to take me away then.

26:56 - All this came about as the prophets’ scriptures foretold. Then his disciples all abandoned him and fled.

26:57 - The people that captured Jesus brought him to where Caiaphas, the high priest, the scribes, and the elders were gathered.

26:58 - Peter followed him off into the distance, to the high priest’s palace. They went in and sat with the servants.

26:59 - The priests and leaders of the church looked for people to say lies about Jesus to use to kill him;

26:60 - But still they couldn’t find any: even though many perjured themselves, they couldn’t find any. Finally two came who were prepared to lie,

Matthew 26:61-70

26:61 - I will destroy the temple of God and rebuild in three days.

26:62 - The high priest stood up and requested of him, are you nothing? what is it that these witnesses have against you?

26:63 - But Jesus did not speak. The high priest answered and said to him. By the living God, tell us are you the Christ, the Son of God?

26:64 - Jesus said to him, You have said: regardless I say to you, after this, you shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and sitting in the clouds of heaven.

26:65 - Then the high priest tore his clothing, saying: He has blasphemed and we don’t need anyone else to testify to that because you have heard him do it.

26:66 - What do you think? They answered and said, He has commited murder.

26:67 - At this time they spit in the man’s face, and continued to buffet him, while yet others beat him with their hands.

26:68 - Prophesy Christ whosoever smote’s thee?

26:69 - And Peter sat outside the castle: a woman came over and said Weren’t you with Jesus from Galilee?

26:70 - He denied all of them, advising, I have no idea what you are saying.

Matthew 26:71-75

26:71 - Another maid saw him on the porch and said the he was also with Jesus of Nazareth.

26:72 - Once again he said, seriously, I really don’t know him.

26:73 - The people who had been watching came up to Peter and said, We can tell you are one of them because you talk just like them.

26:74 - At that point, he started to speak profanities, insisting he did not know the person they spoke of. Then, the rooster crowed.

26:75 - Pete recalled what Jesus had told him, Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times. Peter went outside and cried.