The Turker’s Gospel

The Bible According To Mechanical Turk Workers

Mark 16:11-20

16:11 - And when they heard that he was alive and that she had seen him, they didn’t believe it.

16:12 - He then appeared to two of them, disguised in another form, as they walked into the country.

16:13 - None of those remaining believed them when they told it to those that stayed behind.

16:14 - Afterward, he appeared to the eleven of them as they were eating meat and made them believe it because they hadn’t believed it earlier when they saw that he was risen.

16:15 - Then he told them to go to the masses and teach the gospel to everyone

16:16 - Those who believe and are cleansed will be protected; those who don’t are screwed.

16:17 - Those that believe will show these signs: they will cast out devils in my name; they will speak languages that they never learned;

16:18 - They shall pick up snakes; and if they drink anything poisonous,it will not do them any harm; they shall touch the sick, and they will be healed.

16:19 - After the Lord spoke to them, he was taken to heaven and seated on the right hand of God.

16:20 - With the Lord by their side to confirm everything, they went around to all the lands to preach the gospel.